I don’t know if it’s possible to lose touch with reality while simultaneously grasping reality with all your might; no less, I think that’s what just happened here. Three weeks ago, about mid-week, my hubs says something to the effect of, “Oh, hey, the kitchen floor is getting ripped up on Monday.”
We’ve been talking about replacing our shabby torn-up linoleum for five years now, but with many littles underfoot, the time was never right for such an undertaking. The only way we ever got hardwood flooring through out our first level was because the crew (of folks we know) came and laid it while we were on vacation. Because we’ve been talking about it for SO LONG, I’ve pinned about a dozen different kitchen ideas and thought I had it all figured out, until he said GO (to Home Depot and sort it all out, for realz). Like really real. Like go get the stuff and bring it home because we’re doing this real.
I started panicking. Anyone who has so much as replaced a doorknob knows that one home improvement project leads to another. We started with flooring; however, flooring goes under the cabinets. So, we might as well paint the cabinets, right? As long as we’re messing with those, how about new countertops. Ok! We might as well paint the walls while the cabinets are out; oh, and, don’t you know that lighting is looking dated, too. Back to Home Depot, for the 27th time this week.
I thought my plans would come together once we had tile picked out. Then, out of desperation, I asked Facebook what color our cabinets should be – white or espresso – because I truly couldn’t decide. While my innate desire to have this ornate Tuscan kitchen really wanted the espresso cabinets, my fear of having a too-dark seedy watering hole-eqsqe room attached to my family room made me think otherwise. I probably made 47 phone calls to my sister-in-law about this, who now answers my calls with “Yes?” and an eye roll, I’m certain. I bought the espresso paint.
Then I started freaking out. I found myself Googling and Pinning cabinet colors in the middle of the night because I couldn’t sleep over this ridiculous non life-altering decision. I was also tossing and turning because our laundry was down with the floor job and I wasn’t sure what the kids were wearing to school the next day or what restaurants we’d be hitting up for our wholesome eat-out-for-every-meal-because-the-kitchen-is-closed lifestyle. Then I realized… I am being ridiculous.
There are so many heartaches in this world – poverty, crime, abuse, addiction. So many BIG issues. And, the color of the cabinets and my kids freshly laundered clothes aren’t among those issues. They are in no way worth losing sleep over. In fact, my obsession with these non-issues was taking my heart away from the really important things in life. As I was
getting cranky and unlovable feeling a bit frustrated because our house was seemingly upside down for a week, I started realizing that I needed an attitude adjustment and to stop and realized how blessed we are. Truly blessed to be take that next breath; to be able to feed our kids; to do our laundry in the convenience of our home; to have clean water and warm beds to sleep in and a safe place to call home. AND, most importantly, whenever we focus too much on ourselves; our dwelling places; our junk; our toys…we lose sight of what’s really important, and that’s Jesus.
And then, I returned the espresso paint. I saw the right color sitting in the mis-tint pile for half-off and took it as a sign.
God is good, people. And, sometimes he provides answers where we least expect them – in the midst of a big mess or in the mis-tint aisle at Lowe’s.